Friendship

There are a lot of things that I have come to realize and understand more about relationships in the past two years. Since I have been away from my friends in the Philippines, I grew to understand the real definition of friendship. I also realized how much every single one of them mean to me.

One of my favorite pictures. 

Distance, time difference, busy schedules, and other matters hinder me from communicating to them as much as I want and as much as I should. I know I fail in keeping them up to date with my life but I know that even though they may not know my plans for the future, I know that they all support me in the path that I will take. 

As you can see in the collection of my throwback pictures, we all do not have that one picture together. It is not because it was hard to take a picture together but it is because I have different circle of friends. Does it make sense? I sort of segregated my friends. I sorted them out according to hobbies, likes, and dislikes. Really. No. Of course not. Maybe fate sorted us but I did not intentionally grouped them. It just happened. Fate. Well, of course, there were dramas included but sometimes, friends just drift apart. 

The picture on the left is an example of the "law of drifting". (I made that up so don't quote me) It is true that friends drift apart. Something happens, then boom- someone leaves. Just like that. Francine, the one on my left is the one who drifted away from the group. I honestly forgot why, but it just happened. The picture on the right, on the other hand, is a new group that blossomed. 

Francine, later became an enemy to me for a number of months because of something that happened. It is not the reason, however, to why she drifted from Christine and I. One thing I learned from friendship is that friends come and go. Fate determines who leaves and stays but it is usually up to the person if she wants to stay or not. Francine is still a friend of mine up to this point. Even though I have said no to her million pleads of my forgiveness, she persisted every day for my acceptance. I made up my mind that time to never accept her again but her determination made me see how much she is willing to bring the friendship back

That is another thing I learned - 

That genuine friendship never gives up.

 The same goes with Emi. The one on the farthest left. At one point, I resented Emi for something as well. (Now, I sound like a very hateful person but I have my reasons) Emi also never gave up. Until now, I can still see myself rejecting her cries of forgiveness. I was full of pride before. I was so close to losing two great friends. I was ready to gave up both of them but they still held on to me. They asked for my forgiveness even though they have the option of walking away quietly. 

Another thing that I realized is that every single one of them has a part of me that they carry in the Philippines. Justinne and Emi, my FFF (Fine, Fresh, Fierce) sisters, are the ones that I can talk about boys, love, and fashion. Justinne is my travel buddy whom I share the love of photography. We both love the long walks in the mall even though we don't have a single coin to spend. Emi and I once shared One Direction (but she loved them more so I gave up on them) but we both now share the love towards Ed Sheeran. (and yes, I won't let go of Ed this time :P) Jema, on the other hand, is my Tae Kwon Do buddy. She is my best friend since 3rd grade and even though studying in different high schools separated us, the spark between us never went away. She will always be the transfer student in 3rd grade whom I love dearly. If I want to laugh the whole day about picking on someone, I would need Francine to help me make fun of the things around me. We also share the same understanding about our love with dogs. Tintoy and Mel are the ones that I can act tomboyish around. The three of us enjoy deep conversations about our love life. I know that the three of us are the most passionate in love. Mel taught me to accept constructive criticisms. She is someone I love talking to because of her wise advice. Tintoy, is probably the most passionate in love. It is seldom to see her cry but whenever I see her cry, I feel my heart drop and shatter into pieces. Tintoy is not the most straightforward when it comes to her feelings but I will never forget the times she cried because of me. It is one of the most genuine tears that I have ever seen in my life. Tintoy taught me that it's okay to not say " I love you" often. She knows that showing is better than telling. 

Back in the Philippines, my love life was crap. I was a hopeless romantic. I thought I was the ugliest of the ugliest because no one appreciated me. However, my friends always gave me happiness. I learned that a boy friend is not necessary if you have a lot of friends who love you more than that boyfriend will ever be. My situation is switched now in the United States though. Now that I was alone in the foreign world, I have found a best friend and a boy friend. In a land where my trust were given to a limited people, I have learned to trust someone deeply when I was in my most vulnerable state. I have met and created a bond with Sebastian that definitely fills the emptiness that I have felt about my missing friends. Fill is probably not the right word. I guess I can say that he helped me regain my confidence. He helped me construct myself when I thought I have completely forgotten who I am. With him, I found the real smiles after a year of faking smiles. 

Oh, you know what? 

After a year of being apart, I learned that if your friendship is true, no distance can break the foundation that you have built together.